Tuesday, February 28, 2017

3 Things You Must Master To Be A Great Communicator




Quick story about communication


A long time ago, there was this girl I was training, fresh out of high school, first sales job and she got into the wonderful world of sales. She had absolutely no experience.

First day at work, she's already stumbling upon the script, she sounds great on the phone but there were things that needed some attention. I let it go on for about 3 days. Now I'm managing a sales team at this company and a damn good one too, we're the top team at the company actually and the results are showing for everyone except her.


By the 4th day


I have to fire her tomorrow, she started on Monday and it's Thursday and I'm her boss, but my boss told me to fire her that day. I told him "you know what? give me one day with her if she doesn't make a sale I'll fire her tomorrow. 

Now here's the thing, she had all her co-workers from other teams giving her tips, trying to explain how to talk to people on the phones but it just wasn't getting through to her at all. Let me tell you why.

It's because she learned differently.


Everyone was using negative reinforcement by saying "hey Jon's going to have to fire you if you don't step your game up, so here's what you do. when the customer says this." They would go about their usual schpeel on how to get clients. Now that's fine. Here's the problem.

Negative reinforcement had the opposite effect


I took her under my wing, I used positive reinforcement. First words out of my mouth were "hey, you're not doing too well right now." She cut me off and said "Oh my God am I going to get fired now?" she said it with almost tears in her eyes, I said "no you're not getting fired," I lied, she said "I'm really trying but after training I don't really understand why everyone keeps telling me no." I said, "that's why I'm here."

We spent 3 hours going over the script


I knew I had to fire her tomorrow if she didn't get a sale as well, which is a bit shady I guess you could say but after I trained her I told her this "you know, I believe you're a top producer and you don't know it yet, I know you don't believe it, but I've been in a sales a long time and believe me when I tell you I see something in you, I guarantee you're going to make your first sale after my training with you. I promise."

She made three sales back to back


She was on fire, she had a new confidence in herself that she could start her career in the wonderful world of sales. I was supposed to fire her the next morning. by 12pm she put 4 sales on the board, I'm talking $800 packages, now don't get me wrong I specialize in selling high ticket items I mean $2,000+ when I'm pitching the product. But this product was more on volume rather than price.


I went to my boss and said


"You know this is why you hired me right?" He said "yeah," I said "I'm not firing her because I'm going to turn her into a beast," he said, "don't fire her."

She went on and became top producer of the company


Because people need to be communicated to in a certain way or they don't learn. Now it's no secret that I've got an 8th-grade education only. That doesn't make me stupid, I just didn't learn the ways the teachers were teaching me. But I still made something of myself. I'm a master communicator.

3 Things You Must Master To Be A Great Communicator


1. Undivided Attention


It's an absolute must. You must give them your absolute undivided attention because that's the only way this person will realize you're listening to them with the intent of listening instead of the intent of answering. Your eyes can't wander off when they're pouring their heart to you. You must give that person your undivided attention.

"People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."


2. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). 


You must learn this, let me tell you why. NLP was designed in many ways to bypass the conscious mind. To break down the barrier without the other person knowing that you broke down the barrier. I've studied NLP my entire sales career and it has never lead me astray. I'll give you an example, instead of saying "let me ask you a question." I say "Allow me to ask  you something." Why? When I say "allow me to ask you something," it bypasses your conscious mind and lets your guard down. Language, very important. Study NLP to become a master communicator. 


Before I get into the last bit of this article.


My friends ask me to do things while we're out socializing. One night, my friend ran into her ex-boyfriend's car outside of a bar. I'm not going into too much detail but basically, it was to "befriend" the ex-boyfriend and figure out if he had feelings for her. 

I'm a socialite, I'm socially calibrated in every way


I can walk into any room, by myself and make friends with anyone and everyone if I truly had to do it. Do I do it all the time? No, I want to enjoy the company of the beautiful woman I'm with, or if I'm having a guys night out I just want to hang out. But if I had to befriend people in a social situation it's what I'm built for. I'm a salesman remember that.


Back to the story.


I was sent to infiltrate and befriend the man. Also to infiltrate the man's mind. We talked, we had beer, I worked the friends he was with, we were brothers by the time we left the bar. I'm not going into details, but bottom line, my mission was to infiltrate and to get information and I did. We're friends now.

What's this got to deal with communication? And you're an asshole


People call it manipulation, persuasion, whatever you want to call it, It's communication. It's all communication.

Let's get back to the last bit.



3. Have a higher sense of self-awareness


You need to have self-awareness, a much higher self-awareness than where you're currently at. You need to be keen to emotions, you need to be able to read between the lines, you need to figure out what the person is saying that that person hasn't said. 7% of all communication is words, the rest is context, tone, and body language, do the math. Screw their words, it means nothing. Be aware of the other person, and in order to be aware, you need to have a higher self--awareness of where you're already at. Be emotionally intelligent. 

Cheers to your success.

-Jon Arpon



My name's Jon and I specialize in writing for current events, the wonderful world of mortgage banking and life in general. If you have any questions or maybe even featured on my articles feel free to reach out. By the way if anyone you know is looking to refinance or needs a reverse mortgage send them my way my friends! If you have any questions feel free to send me a message on LinkedInFacebook, or Instagram.

This is how I feel about Donald Trump and Duterte being my presidents!
5 signs you are an emotionally intelligent individual

Jon Arpon "Orange Countys Premier Mortgage Banker."
Email: jarpon@mortgagebankerpro.com

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